Seeing a friend going through a difficult time with their mental health can be tough on you too. It can be difficult to know what to say and do to help. This guide is here to help, with ten top tips on how you can support a friend who may be experiencing distress.
Seeing a friend going through a difficult time with their mental health can be tough on you too. It can be difficult to know what to say and do to help. This guide is here to help, with ten top tips on how you can support a friend who may be experiencing distress.
TIP 1
Broaching sensitive topics:
Try asking “How are you feeling?” rather than “Are you ok?” – this gives people the opportunity to talk rather than answer ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Start questions with ‘how’ or ‘what’ and don’t be afraid to #AskTwice. Asking twice gives people the opportunity to really reflect on how they’re doing.
TIP 2
Don’t underestimate the value of listening:
Give them a chance to talk and be heard. When being that supportive ear remember it is not about you or your experiences. It can be helpful to be given some encouraging advice, but casting judgement over decisions others have made can hinder a conversation.
TIP 3
It’s ok not to have the answers:
Simply be there for your friend and encourage other options of support. Trained professionals can offer appropriate support to individuals going through a tough time. See our contact list overleaf for organisations within and outside of the University that can help.
TIP 4
What to do in a crisis:
If a friend is experiencing a crisis such as expressions of suicidal
thoughts or self-harm, always believe their experiences are true to them and may be causing significant distress. If there is imminent danger to the person, or to others, then it is imperative to call 999.
TIP 5
Focus on being a friend:
There are no rules for what might help your friend, so try different things such as going for a walk or having a meal together and take note of what works and what doesn’t. Be aware that alcohol can exacerbate emotional thoughts, soa night out might not always be helpful.
TIP 6
Don’t panic:
Calmness can be contagious - if we’re able to keep a calm head when someone is sharing their distress, it’s more likely to help them feel contained and calmer.
Breathe calmly and help them get to a point where they know you can handle their information in that moment.
TIP 7
Be patient:
Mental ill health can affect people through mood swings, and they may say or do things that appear thoughtless or hurtful. Be aware of the context of the moment, pick your battles, and try to ‘let things go’ while continuing to show a sense of calmness.
TIP 8
Don’t promise secrecy:
Sometimes a person experiencing a tough time may want you to keep their information a secret. Do not make any promises, as you may need to break their trust for their own safety in instances of risk. It’s ok to agree to be discreet, but share concerns with professionals if required.
TIP 9
Your wellbeing is important too:
The Student Wellbeing and Safeguarding Team is also there to support YOU if YOU need it. Be honest with yourself, and if you’re struggling, ask for help. Try not to carry the responsibility of being your friend’s confidant alone, and share the load if it gets too heavy.
TIP 10
Ask about risk:
It may be important to ask someone about risk such as “are you having thoughts of suicide?”. While it’s NOT your responsibility to manage risks, this can alert you to the urgency of a situation so that you can help someone source support.
For more information on supporting a friend, check out: www.studentminds.org.uk/uploads/3/7/8/4/3784584/interactive_laym_guide.pdf
To find out more about the support available to students at Staffordshire University, visit: www.staffs.ac.uk/students/support/student-wellbeing-and-safeguarding/
home
If you are concerned about a peer, you can complete the Report and Support form, either anonymously or with details: https://reportandsupport.staffs.ac.uk/
Self-referral to our services is available on our web pages:
www.staffs.ac.uk/students/support/student-wellbeing-and-safeguarding/home
Useful Contacts:
• Phone 999 in an emergency.
• Phone 111 in a non-emergency situation.
• If a friend would prefer to speak to someone anonymously, consider contacting
the Samaritans on 116 123.
• Encourage a friend to visit their GP or consider accessing Student Support
Services at Staffordshire University.